How to Stop Overthinking and letting intrusive thoughts win

So, you're lying in bed at 1 a.m., re-playing a conversation from last week when you said “you too” to the waiter who told you to enjoy your meal. Cringe. Welcome to the club.

At Chronically Awkward, we’re all too familiar with the way overthinking and intrusive thoughts can hijack your brain and make you feel like a walking social disaster. But here’s the thing: you’re not broken. Your brain is just doing that annoying thing where it tries to keep you safe… but ends up making you spiral.

🧠 What Even Is Overthinking?

Overthinking = replaying the same anxious thought like it's your favorite depressing playlist.
Intrusive thoughts = random, often disturbing or just plain weird thoughts that pop up uninvited (and you immediately think, “WTF, brain??”).

These mental patterns often get worse when you have social anxiety. You don’t just relive the awkward moment—you dissect it with forensic precision, like you're on some kind of CSI: Cringe edition.

🚫 Common (But Totally Understandable) Mistakes

Here’s what we think helps when our brain goes rogue—but actually makes things worse:

• Trying not to think about it – Congrats, you just made it louder.

• Believing every thought – Just because your brain says you’re a weirdo doesn’t mean it’s true.

• Arguing with your thoughts – Entering a debate with your own brain rarely ends well.

• Avoiding situations – Skipping the party might feel safer, but you’re feeding the anxiety gremlin.

🧩 What Actually Does Help?

Here are six phrases to help you reframe your thoughts:

1. “This is just a thought.”
   Your brain throws out thoughts like TikTok throws out trends—fast and often irrelevant.

2. “I can notice this and let it pass.”
   Like a notification you don’t need to open.

3. “I’ve survived this before.”
   Remember that time you called your teacher “mom”? You lived.

4. “Uncertainty is a part of life.”
   There’s no script—just vibes.

5. “Avoidance makes it worse.”
   Facing the awkward moment head-on is the plot twist your anxiety didn’t see coming.

6. “Discomfort is not dangerous.”
   Feeling awkward ≠ dying. It just feels like it sometimes.

💡 Real Talk: You’re Not Alone

If you’re dealing with intrusive thoughts or spiraling after every social interaction, you’re in good company. Like, millions-of-people-feel-this-way kind of company. The key isn’t to get rid of every uncomfortable thought—it’s learning how to coexist with them, without letting them run your life.

Healing isn’t about becoming less awkward. It’s about learning to live boldly even when you are.

And hey, we’re here for all of it. 💛